shifting

Alexander McQueen hair shirt...
not quite a cilice, but much easier on the eye.

So, a couple of weeks ago i was taken off of the mild chemotherapy i had been on for over a year to start a new drug that's less aggressive on healthy tissue but just as aggressive on the chronic inflammation causing my blindness.  The good news?  No more traveling 2 hours to be hooked up to an IV for three hours for now.  The bad news?  The new drug is taken twice a day, on an empty stomach.  Did i mention i'm on steroids?  Others on steroids are well aware, it's hard to find a time of day when your stomach is empty.  Steroids are kind of like having a hungry, angry baby in your belly; and that baby wants you to eat all the time (preferably something containing milkfat).  If you don't, it will fill your veins with it's cranky baby quake.  God, i hate that baby. 

Things I have noticed since starting the new drug:

• I was loosing hair on chemo.  A lot of it.  One couldn't tell, because i have enough hair to make a hair shirt for each Catholic who thought about eating meat on Friday.  Now that i'm not on it anymore... it's like wearing a wool cap all the time. 
• I rarely have an empty stomach, so i have to set a timer to remind me when i do.  
• Grazing may be a problem.  Perhaps i need a hair shirt to remind me not to graze.
• I can easily be okay with most anything that's unsavory:  books not in alphabetical order, rainy days, taking handfuls of pills twice a day.  But, i have yet to be able to enjoy the chain of regimented times to do things.  Like, you can't do this if you've done this, this, and this.  Or, more specifically... I can't take my meds in the morning for another two hours because i accidentally licked my finger when making my daughter's peanut butter & strawberry toast.  (note: make hair shirt)
• Iced coffee is caffeinated just like real coffee.  Despite it's sweet, delicious, ice cream-like demeanor, it's a red hot devil with cubes at 6:30pm.
• Without my amazing friends and family... i would be even more of a hot mess than i am now.