j'adore paris...

gosh, i love this new typeface by Moshik Nadav Typography.

put a burt on it...

My dear friend, Colette is a buyer for the store Essentials.  Essentials is fun, whimsical, and chock full of handpicked things from every price point.  You can get 10 gift tags for 95 cents or a custom couch for $4000. 

It's kind of a love or hate place, it seems.  I personally adore it.  I worked there for three years while going to school and figuring things out and still shop there.  But there are the haters.  People like to walk in and say "None of this stuff is 'essential!'" as if they're the first person in the 25 year history of the store to think that.  People who like to rag on the place seem to dislike the aesthetic, or prefer to think of themselves as too hip for it. 

Recently, Colette told me that two young women came in and joked... "This store is SO put a bird on it!" of course, referring to the genius Portlandia sketch.  Granted, there are a lot of items with birds on them in the store.  But who doesn't love a bird on something?  Also, who doesn't love Portlandia? 

disclaimer: 
I thought everything in this sketch looked better once a bird was applied

So much makes that sketch brilliantly funny, but most certainly because it's true.  People who tend to like to craft birds on otherwise banal items to achieve a particular look are rarely ever in close proximity to the birds they so often like to stencil or embroider on things. I personally blame (love) etsy.

Yesterday, I went in the store and behind the front counter on a memo board with notes and fun drawings by the staff were stickers with Burt Reynolds head:

Put a Burt on it.

It was kind of in response to obnoxious 20-somethings, kind of a poke at the store, and just funny.  All local stores should have great style and a sense of humor about them.  Makes spending money there so much more fun. 

bed, bed, i couldn't go to bed...

If Eliza Doolittle had a bed like these, she most certainly would have gotten over that 'orrible 'enry 'iggins so much more quickly and just gone the heck to bed
without all that prancing about.

Francois-Xavier Lalanne bed

Francois-Xavier Lalanne bed in Life Magazine

available on etsy

cloud bed by m&m kloker

good news...

So after eating better, cutting down on coffee, and taking better care of myself overall... the inflammation in my eyes has gotten better.  Seeing that, and how my body is reacting to chemotherapy, immune suppressants, and steroids; my doctor is taking me off of all of them.  This will be temporary, and the possibility of regular ocular steroid injections and anti-glaucoma drops are in my future... i'm absolutely thrilled.  The idea is to get my body strong and fit again.  

So right now, my diet is:

• As many veggies and fruits i can get into my body.  Summer makes that a joy.
• Lots of protein and whole grains... eating meat occasionally.
• Tons of water.
• Tea, not coffee (except on the weekends)
• A daily multi-vitamin, 2400 mg of folic acid and anti-inflammatory supplement Zyflamend

Once everything clears out of my system, I'm hoping to have  the energy to start working out and bike riding ASAP.  Here's to hoping it's all keeping the inflammation at bay.  I'll find out next week.  If not, nothing a little needle in the eye can't fix, right?  Anything besides chemo.

drink lots of water

kusmi tea makes coffee look cheap & undesirable

summer abundance

... and the perfect snack

for the love of the machine

shifting

Alexander McQueen hair shirt...
not quite a cilice, but much easier on the eye.

So, a couple of weeks ago i was taken off of the mild chemotherapy i had been on for over a year to start a new drug that's less aggressive on healthy tissue but just as aggressive on the chronic inflammation causing my blindness.  The good news?  No more traveling 2 hours to be hooked up to an IV for three hours for now.  The bad news?  The new drug is taken twice a day, on an empty stomach.  Did i mention i'm on steroids?  Others on steroids are well aware, it's hard to find a time of day when your stomach is empty.  Steroids are kind of like having a hungry, angry baby in your belly; and that baby wants you to eat all the time (preferably something containing milkfat).  If you don't, it will fill your veins with it's cranky baby quake.  God, i hate that baby. 

Things I have noticed since starting the new drug:

• I was loosing hair on chemo.  A lot of it.  One couldn't tell, because i have enough hair to make a hair shirt for each Catholic who thought about eating meat on Friday.  Now that i'm not on it anymore... it's like wearing a wool cap all the time. 
• I rarely have an empty stomach, so i have to set a timer to remind me when i do.  
• Grazing may be a problem.  Perhaps i need a hair shirt to remind me not to graze.
• I can easily be okay with most anything that's unsavory:  books not in alphabetical order, rainy days, taking handfuls of pills twice a day.  But, i have yet to be able to enjoy the chain of regimented times to do things.  Like, you can't do this if you've done this, this, and this.  Or, more specifically... I can't take my meds in the morning for another two hours because i accidentally licked my finger when making my daughter's peanut butter & strawberry toast.  (note: make hair shirt)
• Iced coffee is caffeinated just like real coffee.  Despite it's sweet, delicious, ice cream-like demeanor, it's a red hot devil with cubes at 6:30pm.
• Without my amazing friends and family... i would be even more of a hot mess than i am now. 

for those really stressful moments...

there's always two bulldogs in swings:

today's great things

filling red rubber clogs with cool water from the hose &
swish-squashing around the garden on a hot summer day

dirt stained hands

 

and this song...

time to make it work

Make It Work

I quit my job to take better care of myself. And so, to be sure i didn't make a glaring mistake, i kind of have to now.  Starting with an anti-inflammatory diet is my first step: which means cutting down on refined sugars, processed foods, and caffeine; and maybe the hardest step.  That's pretty much everything i abused in attempts to fuel my body to get through work each day.  I'm hoping these simple daily dietary changes will lower the inflammation throughout my body and help eliminate the need for some of the crazy drugs used to stave off the beastly blindness. 

Going on the fourth day without coffee, (read: four daily iced coffees the size of my noggin seasoned with enough half & half and simple syrup to make kidneys ache and diabetics quiver) is easier than it could have been.  My body was craving the much needed break.  Next week it's reintegrating yoga, time at the gym...  and, being grateful for the privilege to get to make it all happen... instead focusing on the tightness of my yoga pants which is obviously because of ill-washing.  Why else could they be so tight?  Certainly not from the elevated half & half, simple syrup, and steroid intake from past nine months?  Also on the agenda: being more honest with myself.

Thanks to my amazing family for helping me Make It Work (although they didn't get much of a choice), Tim Gunn for inspiring me to Make It Work, and to the local Y for being quite lovely for a Y, and making it all so darn accessible.

oh, boy!

new favorite website:

because sometimes Mr. Darcy is
a blacksmithing boxer

a shift in theme

Hi Friends,

So, many of you who know me personally know that i have a chronic inflammatory eye condition called Uveitis caused by an auto-immune disease called Sarcoidosis; and that i'm receiving chemotherapy to treat it.  Yesterday, after getting hooked up to the I.V. and scooting it around the office like a little future puppy on skates from one test to another for three hours, i was told that i was having a bad reaction to the medicine and the plug was pulled.

This is the fourth type of chemotherapy drug i've been on in a year, and one that has worked the best with little complications.  To have the plug suddenly pulled (albeit gently), was quite a disappointment.  I felt really alone in the moment; even though i was with the amazing infusion nurse, Laura, and a woman who travels from Spain to see the same doctor i drive to.   I guess i would have felt less alone, if the woman from Spain spoke English, or if i spoke Spanish, or if i wasn't so afraid of scaring her with the chubby tears that were welling up in my eyes.

Although i never intended to share my story in such a public forum, i'm doing it to share my experience: the ups, the downs, and the life that gets lived in between.  Because really... that's the best part, the "in between."  And though i've read a lot about treatments and a whole bunch more about the pain and suffering that can come with them, not much is said about the life that gets to be lived in between: the life worth living.  And me personally?  That's what i like to hear about. 

So, come back and visit.  If you know anyone that going through something similar, let them know that there are others out there and show them this.  Maybe if they know they're not alone they can have longer in between moments.  Because it's what all of us with auto-immune stuff want: longer moments in between the sucky ones.  Maybe knowing how someone else is finding those moments can make it easier figure out how to have them on your own.

cat nap

i've been watching this clip over and over for the past week.  

It's kind of like Penelope and me napping, but more fuzzy and less stripey. 

ten thousand saints

We are divided and united by battles: both publically and internally.  Eleanor Henderson’s bold, debut novel, Ten Thousand Saints illustrates just that.  In this empathetic coming of age story, reminiscent of Bank’s Rule of the Bone and Lethem’s The Fortress of Solitude, we’re introduced to Jude.  Adopted as an infant by hippies in the 70s he’s one of the restless youth found marginalized in lush, idyllic Vermont.  Jude’s usual comfort and calm, found in getting high with his best friend, Teddy, is suddenly upended when Teddy dies of an overdose.  Jude’s relationship with family and drugs dramatically shifts.  He’s moved to pre-Giuliani New York City with his pot-dealing dad and stumbles upon hardcore music through Sunday matinees at CB's.  Searching for comfort, forgiveness, and an explanation for Teddy's death, Jude becomes deeply involved in the Straight Edge scene and Krishna's teachings.

Ten Thousand Saints is told through a series of struggles, which fray and bring a handful of  well-developed characters together in the most natural, yet random ways.  Through death and a new, unexpected life, a group of people become family.   The struggles, failings and good intentions that clearly and heartachingly manifest within each character and generation solidifies a foundation that will define Henderson as a master storyteller. 

oh, the humanity...

Admit it, you judge a book by it's cover.  You even judge a book by it's publisher, the font used throughout, the paper.  It's okay... we all do. And really, is there anything wrong with that?  Part of the reading experience is enjoying the aesthetic of what you're holding... the smell of it, the look, the weight.  You curl up with it... you spend time in the most intimate places in your home, in varying degrees of dress with it.  You should love the way it looks and feels as well as what it says.  In my house, between my husband and I, we have four copies of Ulysses.  Four.  Have either of us read it in it's entirety?  No.  But the covers are lovely!  The smell of the foxing in the original Modern Library edition is heavenly.  And the sheer heft, layout and typography of the first facsimile, (we each had a copy before we were a couple) ,well... shows that we may have a problem, but that's another story.

Now, Ulysses has become public domain in America.  What does that mean?  It means anyone can churn out a cheap copy with any hideous cover they like.  And they are.  Below are four of the most horrible book covers i've ever seen... and for Ulysses?  It's confounding.  On the upside, Ulysses may attract a different set of readers now.  Or, let's be real... a new set of people who will buy it keep it on their shelf for the sheer heft of it.

watching a bubble freeze

the crow paradox

by Ryan of Berkley Illustration

why isn't the crow more beloved by humans?  crows can modify tools and recognize individual human faces.  they hang out and chat.  they recognize us, but can we recognize them?

 voila: the crow paradox.

what fills the void on a day like today?

a cup of gold blend barry's tea

cadbury mini eggs

a favorite collection of short stories

something warm to cuddle with (photo of ella bear: doug rice)

rolling in the deep

WARNING: Blanket statement to follow:
Adele saves the children simply by existing.

let england shake

i have a feeling this will be my favorite album of 2011.

oh, you pretty things...

although it's a guilty pleasure to check out what's going on during fashion week, it's not often that i see items from runway shows and think... "oh boy, i could totally wear that."  like most women, i don't have the body type for most of the designs, nor the disposable income, both of which i've grown a LOT more comfortable with since leaving new york.

but once i went into prada with a purpose.  i was going to walk out with a dress.  my dear friend kate came for moral support and helped me find something dreamy: a hand-dyed shift with layers of beaded silk.  it's weight defied it's ethereal qualities and i wanted it to come home with me.  in the time we were genuinely looking, not one idle sales person checked in with us, as other customers were hastily brought espresso drinks and items in different sizes.

when i approached a sales woman standing a yard or so from me and asked if she could show me a dressing room, she obliged reluctantly.  the dress wasn't right, the sales person was a character (she mentioned it was my height, not the dress that was the problem). the experience was horrible.  and so, i haven't gone back to prada or any shop like it.  it's just not my lifestyle.

but then, i saw this:

would someone like to go to marc jacobs with me?  i know we'll walk out dejected and deflated.  but we can get gelato and port and laugh about it afterwards.  and really, no dress is better than that, no matter what kate moss says.

the architect of flowers

there's a saying, those who have spent a lot of time in the dark have the tendency to find great beauty in the smallest hints of light.  the characters in william lychack's latest book, The Architect of Flowers are great examples of this.  lychack's slim collection of stories will introduce you to a cast of delicately developed characters facing heartbreak and disappointment.  You will then get to bear witness as they find beauty in their seemingly mediocre lives.  don't be surprised if you find yourself pausing between stories, lost in dreamscape to recapture the characters' regrets of everyday failings, small victories or memories of past joys.  well-crafted, each story has a depth and detail that defies its brevity.

lychack's skill is clearly infusing the ordinary with special qualities: the softness of summer's yellow morning light in a kitchen, the depth of a mother's longing for her adult son and what she's willing to do to bring him home, the haunting of wanting to make something right years after an event.  it's a rare skill and one to be savored on a quiet weekend afternoon with tea and blankets.

The Architect of Flowers will be released as a paperback original on march 23rd.  william lychack will be reading at the odyssey bookshop on thursday, march 31st at 7pm.  come out and get lost with me.

&

ampersands i love.

woody allen + marx bros.

= joy in the meaning(lessness) of life

secret kitten

if you see me staring off with a thousand mile stare, this is where i've gone.

visual editions

visual editions (VE) is a brilliant publisher out of the uk founded by anna gerber + britt iverson, two women who were driven to start up VE out of their love of books and their sometimes (mischievous) urge to do things differently.  in doing so, they've broadened the niche for books that tell stories not only with words on the page, but with the visual composition of the book itself.

some might make accusations that this is a gimmicky endeavor, but there's an earnest love of where literature and art intersect that shines through in the execution of each book.  i wholeheartedly don't see gimmick in the work no matter how much excitement it stirs up.

VE has two editions out and two in production.  the first book published is a stunning republication of The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by laurence sterne with an introduction by satirical novelist, will self. tristram shandy, a book originally published in seven volumes full of expository and visual diversions is now often found in one volume, text only, mass-market editions.  although i've yet to see the original seven volume edition of tristram shandy, i find VE's venture back to a more graphic retelling of the story both arresting and lively.

detail of tristram shandy

this morning, i opened a package that held a copy of VE's second edition, tree of codes by jonathan safran foer.  tree of codes is a novel written within a novel.  foer took his favorite book (the street of crocodiles by bruno schulz) and cut out words to leave behind another, wholly different story.

detail of tree of codes

i was blown away by the sheer beauty and weight of it, despite the amount of negative space each page holds.  trying to get my hands on a copy wasn't easy.  the u.s. rep for VE didn't have any copies, u.s. distributors didn't really carry it, and the copy ordered from england was lost in the mail.  after months of trying on my own, i emailed anna + britt.  although they were sold out of the first printing, they sent me a copy from their personal library.  how could you not love them?

anna + britt of VE

i can't wait to cuddle up with tree of codes, read and fall into the beauty of not only the words, but of the book itself.  VE has two more books in production slated for release this spring.  i'm sure i'm not the only one waiting in anticipation for what comes next.

clem

clem the meerkat only has acorn eyes for you.

it was duggie's birthday weekend, but he's the one that gave the present.

John C. Reilly & Will Ferrell's "Animal Choices" from FODPresents

thanks, dug.

a little secret...

When robert plant looks over his shoulder at 1:29, i like to pretend it's at me.


What?  It was the camera monitor?
Oh, well.  Who can blame him?

the fates will find their way

Back in October, i was lucky to happen upon a galley of The Fates Will Find Their Way by Hannah Pittard.  Although it was just sitting on a shelf in my office, i'm not sure how it made it's way there.   It's cover was lovely and immediately drew me to it.  i felt even more lucky when the story turned out to be better than i hoped... a real score.  If you're looking for a story to draw you in, don't need all your questions answered and like your narrator to be first-person plural, you'll probably dig The Fates Will Find Their Way as much as i did.

The tale of  the missing 16-year-old Nora Lindell, told collectively by the boys who knew and loved her before her disappearance, is heavy with the purity of youth and the deep melancholy of suburban dystopia.  The two make a enticing recipe for the eerie and suspenseful unfolding of Nora Lindell's possible story following the night she disappeared.  

Hannah Pittard has done something quite magical here in using this collective voice and the obsession a town has with this young woman. The obsession absorbs the boys minds as they grow into men, married with children of their own.  The magic is in Pittard's way of drawing us through the multiple possibilities of Nora's fate through this collective voice as if each one is fact; details so rich and often lovingly and tenderly thought up by this collective.  

The boys grow into men who do what they are "supposed" to do.  Most get married, have children, become doctors, and although they expect these things lead to happiness, they end up disillusioned and looking for an escape.  Their obsession with what may have happened to Nora Lindell is such an escape; where they can live vicariously through her and with her, no longer left behind.  The Fates Will Find Their Way, reminiscent of The Virgin Suicides and The Swimmer, is simply a remarkable first novel.   

Here's a fun interview with Pittard with a bookseller at Powell's.

i can't say how excited i am to host an event with her (& Teju Cole, author of Open City) Friday, February 11th, 7pm at the Odyssey Bookshop.  i hope you can make it out.