oh, boy!

new favorite website:

because sometimes Mr. Darcy is
a blacksmithing boxer

a shift in theme

Hi Friends,

So, many of you who know me personally know that i have a chronic inflammatory eye condition called Uveitis caused by an auto-immune disease called Sarcoidosis; and that i'm receiving chemotherapy to treat it.  Yesterday, after getting hooked up to the I.V. and scooting it around the office like a little future puppy on skates from one test to another for three hours, i was told that i was having a bad reaction to the medicine and the plug was pulled.

This is the fourth type of chemotherapy drug i've been on in a year, and one that has worked the best with little complications.  To have the plug suddenly pulled (albeit gently), was quite a disappointment.  I felt really alone in the moment; even though i was with the amazing infusion nurse, Laura, and a woman who travels from Spain to see the same doctor i drive to.   I guess i would have felt less alone, if the woman from Spain spoke English, or if i spoke Spanish, or if i wasn't so afraid of scaring her with the chubby tears that were welling up in my eyes.

Although i never intended to share my story in such a public forum, i'm doing it to share my experience: the ups, the downs, and the life that gets lived in between.  Because really... that's the best part, the "in between."  And though i've read a lot about treatments and a whole bunch more about the pain and suffering that can come with them, not much is said about the life that gets to be lived in between: the life worth living.  And me personally?  That's what i like to hear about. 

So, come back and visit.  If you know anyone that going through something similar, let them know that there are others out there and show them this.  Maybe if they know they're not alone they can have longer in between moments.  Because it's what all of us with auto-immune stuff want: longer moments in between the sucky ones.  Maybe knowing how someone else is finding those moments can make it easier figure out how to have them on your own.

cat nap

i've been watching this clip over and over for the past week.  

It's kind of like Penelope and me napping, but more fuzzy and less stripey. 

ten thousand saints

We are divided and united by battles: both publically and internally.  Eleanor Henderson’s bold, debut novel, Ten Thousand Saints illustrates just that.  In this empathetic coming of age story, reminiscent of Bank’s Rule of the Bone and Lethem’s The Fortress of Solitude, we’re introduced to Jude.  Adopted as an infant by hippies in the 70s he’s one of the restless youth found marginalized in lush, idyllic Vermont.  Jude’s usual comfort and calm, found in getting high with his best friend, Teddy, is suddenly upended when Teddy dies of an overdose.  Jude’s relationship with family and drugs dramatically shifts.  He’s moved to pre-Giuliani New York City with his pot-dealing dad and stumbles upon hardcore music through Sunday matinees at CB's.  Searching for comfort, forgiveness, and an explanation for Teddy's death, Jude becomes deeply involved in the Straight Edge scene and Krishna's teachings.

Ten Thousand Saints is told through a series of struggles, which fray and bring a handful of  well-developed characters together in the most natural, yet random ways.  Through death and a new, unexpected life, a group of people become family.   The struggles, failings and good intentions that clearly and heartachingly manifest within each character and generation solidifies a foundation that will define Henderson as a master storyteller. 

oh, the humanity...

Admit it, you judge a book by it's cover.  You even judge a book by it's publisher, the font used throughout, the paper.  It's okay... we all do. And really, is there anything wrong with that?  Part of the reading experience is enjoying the aesthetic of what you're holding... the smell of it, the look, the weight.  You curl up with it... you spend time in the most intimate places in your home, in varying degrees of dress with it.  You should love the way it looks and feels as well as what it says.  In my house, between my husband and I, we have four copies of Ulysses.  Four.  Have either of us read it in it's entirety?  No.  But the covers are lovely!  The smell of the foxing in the original Modern Library edition is heavenly.  And the sheer heft, layout and typography of the first facsimile, (we each had a copy before we were a couple) ,well... shows that we may have a problem, but that's another story.

Now, Ulysses has become public domain in America.  What does that mean?  It means anyone can churn out a cheap copy with any hideous cover they like.  And they are.  Below are four of the most horrible book covers i've ever seen... and for Ulysses?  It's confounding.  On the upside, Ulysses may attract a different set of readers now.  Or, let's be real... a new set of people who will buy it keep it on their shelf for the sheer heft of it.

watching a bubble freeze

the crow paradox

by Ryan of Berkley Illustration

why isn't the crow more beloved by humans?  crows can modify tools and recognize individual human faces.  they hang out and chat.  they recognize us, but can we recognize them?

 voila: the crow paradox.